BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
