ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
