Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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