Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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