I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
