i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
