That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
tell me about the fingering
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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