I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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