i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
