like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He did a backflip because drugs
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
