i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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