so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
