Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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