halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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