scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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