I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
