Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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