he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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