What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
two words: eviction party
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
