How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
