rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
