But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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