I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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