piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
