Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
