i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
