So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
