you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
