I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
