She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
