# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
