My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
