walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
