just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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