The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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