my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
