So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
