Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
