I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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