you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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