Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
This toilet bowl is my home.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
