She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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