What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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