I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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