If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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