so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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