You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
