I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
