She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
