It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
