No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
